My mantra rings true. This year will be better. I will keep my priorities straight; I will look out for myself; I will keep my eyes on God.
(Yes, I am a Christian, for those of you whom I might offend. Yes, I was raised Christian, but, no, I am not brainwashed. I make my own choices, and I could have walked away if I wanted to. However, my faith gives me hope and strength that people cannot. People let me down. Christ will never leave me, never let me fall. My plan is to seek him in everything. I won't walk away, and those of you who belittle me for it: Let's just agree to disagree.)
I live my life to make others happy, and that's great. That's wonderful. Selflessness is a good quality to have. But I reached a point where I no longer tried to make myself happy. Helping certain people in certain situations would hurt me in the process. No more. If I don't feel right about it, I'm not doing it.
I have to learn to be more patient, more open, more caring. One day, I hope I will be that person that seems radiant, literally, because they are trying to be the best they can be. I want that joy.
This year will be better. It has to be.
